Category Archives: life coaching

Sir James Barrie On The Real Definition Of Work

Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else – Sir James Barrie

We all can’t run away to Fiji, but we can enjoy more of what we do.

Are you spending more time on what you think you should be doing, rather than what you want?

Can you delegate more or aim for good enough instead of perfect, and turn your attention to the activities that bring you joy?

Do you keep a running list of things you enjoy and actually build these into your schedule so your time isn’t frittered away by busy work?

What is the “something else” you can bring more of into your everyday work?

Dr. Denis Waitley On Circumstance And Responsibility

There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them — Dr. Denis Waitley

Wow, I think this quote was written for Cynical Me.

Do you fixate on how stuck things are, or do you try to find solutions?

Are you complaining more than doing?

Which choice will you make today: to remain where you are; or to pour everything you’ve got into making your dreams com true?

Helen Keller on Playing Big

One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar — Helen Keller

After a particularly cold winter, I am even more excited for spring, already my favorite season. I just want to get outside more, enjoy the longer, brighter days, and escape the constriction of coats, hats and gloves. Spring is a time I feel like I’m physically soaring. There is a release after creeping along all winter — even when I’m just standing still, on a nice spring day, my body feels like it’s throwing my arms wide open and I’m jumping for joy.

Sometimes when I have a business idea or even just an idea for an article, I feel that same excited soaring, mentally and creatively. I need to tell someone. I need to type quickly to get it all down. There is an urgency, but not the stressful urgency that comes with deadlines. It’s a positive urgency, that impulse to soar.

Where are you creeping when you need to soar?

Peter Block on Living

The goal is to balance a life that works with a life that counts. — Peter Block

Is your life working for you?

Do you feel joy enough times during the day?

Are you getting enough rest?

Do you spend time with people you love?

Does your life count?

Are you fulfilling your commitments?

Are you sharing your potential?

Are you working towards something that yields benefits outside of yourself?

Barry Beck on Blame

We have only one person to blame, and that’s each other. — Barry Beck, NY Ranger

I love quotes that make me laugh. Seriously, though, I love the nudge towards blaming other people. Yes, some people point fingers too often. But many people I know do the opposite and don’t blame enough. Yes, I just said that: sometimes it’s ok to point fingers and blame.

I live in a Type A, frenetic city where many people are so self-starting and so determined that they internalize every tough outcome and assume they can turn anything around given enough effort. That’s a great mindset to have when it causes you to work hard, push past failure, and persist. But sometimes it helps to not assume you can fix things and look for reasons to blame so you can avoid these situations altogether – the toxic colleague who should never be trusted, the credit-hungry boss who should never get your best ideas, the energy-draining friend whose calls you should screen out.

Sometimes it’s not your fault and you don’t have to improve yourself or change what you’re doing.

Let It Ride on Luck

You’ve got to place a bet every day, otherwise you might be walking around lucky and not know it. — Character played by Richard Dreyfuss in the movie Let It Ride

I don’t feel like I’m a lucky person. I don’t win at raffles or the casino. But if I really itemize over my lifetime the chance opportunities that have led to something great, then I realize how lucky I really am. For example, I met my now business partner when I was a teenager, when I interned for her over 20 years ago. A chance meeting begets a business? That’s lucky. Apparently, even someone like me who doesn’t “win” in the traditional gaming sense wins other things.

Do you feel lucky? If not, how can you be sure? When was the last time you took an accounting of all the times luck played a part in your success, big and small?

Knowing that chance presents itself outside of lottery tickets and contests, be on the lookout for other forms of luck. What types of bets can you place – an email to someone you want to meet, a sharing of an idea that you have been chewing on?

For more on placing bets, I recommend the book, Little Bets by Peter Sims. Written for the business set to encourage experimental innovation, the subtitle is “How Breaktrhough Ideas Emerge From Small Discoveries” and this applies to personal discovery as well.

Annie Dillard On Time Spent

How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.– Annie Dillard

I’ve been thinking about this a lot because I’ve been particularly harried these days. I said Yes to too many things, and these are high-stakes commitments that must get fulfilled. So it’s crunch time, get-fewer-hours-sleep time. Is this how I want to spend my days? (Rhetorical question, of course, as the answer is No. I need to figure out a better way to get to my goals without losing myself in the process.)

Do you say Yes too much, causing day after day of busyness rather than the life you want to have?

What are some thing you can do day-after-day or week-by-week that would add up to the life you want?

How can you be more intentional about time spent?

David Allen on Finishing What You Started

Much of the stress that people feel doesn’t come from having too much to do. It comes from not finishing what they’ve started — David Allen

It’s February. The momentum (and pressure) of the New Year has died down. What have you started that you haven’t finished? Can you drop it?

Sometimes not finishing is a good thing. You do enough to realize this isn’t the right move, hobby, next step to take, and then you know enough about yourself that you redirect your efforts. That’s a good example of not finishing.

But sometimes not finishing is inadvertent. We meant to continue, but other things got in the way. If it still matters, resolve to finish. Get the support, clarification on next steps, blocks of time, or whatever you need to get to the end.

Either way, you don’t want open items running around in your mind or your schedule. It’s like a computer that didn’t properly shut down an application and then needs to use extra resources to keep something unwanted running in the background. Reboot! Either redirect to begin anew or resolve to finish.

Jean Anouilh on Saying Yes

To say yes, you have to sweat and roll up your sleeves and plunge both hands into life up to the elbows. It is easy to say no, even if saying no means death. — Jean Anouilh

OK, I wasn’t keen on using a quote on Valentine’s Day that had the word death. But there is so much good intensity and passionate feeling in this one and its message about saying YES. It’s that same good intensity of falling in love, of committing to someone (or something), of working ferociously with both hands, both feet, whole heart IN.

What have you said YES too?

Do you need to renew your YES – remember why you decided to jump in, remind yourself that the sweaty work is part of the deal?

Wikipedia says of Jean Anouilh: One of France’s most prolific writers after World War II, much of Anouilh’s work deals with themes of maintaining integrity in a world of moral compromise (sourced to Smith, Christopher Norman (1985). Jean Anouilh, Life, Work, and Criticism. London: York Press)

Don’t be tempted by the easy No. Maintain integrity despite external moral compromise. What can you say YES to?

Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn on Little Things

The little things? The little moments? They aren’t little — Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn

The big things in life come down to little moments – for me, it’s making pancakes in the morning for my 12-year old. To her, it’s a big thing because she loves it so much. But it’s also a little thing because it takes just 20 minutes. Now it does require the presence of mind to stop what I’m doing and make the time to make the pancakes.

Is this a contradiction of the Don’t-Sweat-The-Small-Stuff school of advice? I don’t think so, since both our valid. In the pancake example, stopping what I’m doing is not sweating the small stuff. Often I’m in the throes of just one more email or check out that interesting blog post…Sometimes that’s big stuff (an email to pitch a new project, a blog post that points out something interesting about someone you will be meeting with). But oftentimes, we get swept up in the small stuff of day-to-day unnecessarily and unconsciously.

So we need to be more conscious of the little things and little moments that matter. What is the pancake equivalent for you? What activity, though seemingly little, matters a lot? How can you do more of these little things and have more of these little moments?